I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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