i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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