i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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