On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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