the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
