Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
50% drunk capacity currently
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
