Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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