Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
