I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize