i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
