You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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