remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
