Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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