I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
