You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
