Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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