hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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