scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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