That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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