we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
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Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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