no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm at about main and main street
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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