I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
