Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
