it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
