I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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