It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
