Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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