so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
