yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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