True but thats because hes a fetus.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
