DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i think we sleep fucked last night...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
