I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize