It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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