she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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