is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
