i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
