who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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