You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
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Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.