38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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