Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
wanna go halves on a baby?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In other news, I just burned my penis
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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