So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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