i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
