I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
