bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
