We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize