Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize