I heard we made out
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
