I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you bring me the toilet please
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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