i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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