small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
