I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
