I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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