I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
