I wish I only lived at night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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