did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Even my vagina gasped.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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