You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
