This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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