the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex