there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...