P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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