I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.