I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize