I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
