So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
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The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.