my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
