I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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