At least make sure they are 18
I wish I only lived at night.
I could make wine with my vomit
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.