how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
