Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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