how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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