hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
